On being wronged

Have you been wronged by someone else? Examine yourself first to see whether your own behavior was the cause. After this, confront your wronger and tell him what he has done. How can he know except you enlighten him, and how can you heal unless you speak up? “But he will not acknowledge his fault.” That is a common shortcoming, but you do not have the power to force him to apologize. You have done what you can. Can you continue walking beside this person even though he does not see his wrong? Can you–I do not say you must, for some things cannot be compelled nor should they be–forgive? If you can, then that is good. If you cannot, then that is also good. Do what is best for your own peace and the pursuit of your own virtue. If another causes you to become angry and indignant, avoid him. If another causes you distress such that you become bitter, avoid him. Confront first; if he repents, you gain your friend; if he does not, consider whether, like the doctor, you must amputate this limb to save the rest of yourself.


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